


dance with the devil

by bigpappang



Category: Free!
Genre: Codenames, Drama & Romance, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Masturbation, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Build, Terrorist AU, Yakuza AU, and introducing our sweet cinnamon roll secondary ocs, and small sons being part of the mob, angst bc would it really feel right without it, ft. starting days characters cuz they cute, i've literally no idea how to tag here so i'm just following my heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 10:01:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5581474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigpappang/pseuds/bigpappang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding a home in each other was easy. The hard part was finding the way back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Peek-a-Boo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere in Tokyo, a sweet is wasted and a police officer receives a text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've no actual idea how this story even came to life in the first place but it started somewhere and i've been enjoying the shit out of writing it so far, so i hope you enjoy reading it and hopefully this will be the long, occasionally bumpy ride, that i imagined for this fic to be <3
> 
> apologize in advance for any possible spelling mistakes!

prologue 

11:57

When he was young, Nagisa used to watch his mother cook everything from full on meals to colorful desserts for him and his sisters. She was careful, skilled and delicate, treating the ingredients as if they were pieces of a puzzle. To young Nagisa, they were. He could never understand why one thing happened, why the other caused it; but the older he grew and the more he watched, the more Nagisa could understand why adding just the right amount of salt could make the biggest difference. Slowly, he, too, became careful, skilled and delicate. It just never occurred to him how useful talents as these could be for things other than cooking. 

Making bombs was an art aswell, he thought, an acquired taste for the brave of heart. It was fascinating in it’s own right and no less satisfying than a perfectly prepared dinner, for a whole hungry group of people. He loved making them - almost as much as he loved destroying them. Bombs, like food, were temporary. They were a passing show. Only there for a second. He cocked his head to the side slightly to appreciate his fleeting piece of work. It saddened him when he wasn’t allowed to be around to watch his handmade circus burn, but he guessed it made sense that he be away from the crime scene, if anything were to, you know, “go wrong”. Not that it ever did, honestly - Nagisa was past the point of losing respect for the mediocre job those policemen did. How fun it’d be to have someone amongst them that could actually give him a run for his money. 

He sighed, pushing aside his daydreaming and gently placing the velvety pink daifuku inside a trashcan. Some would deem it a waste of food but personally, he thought it was pretty funny - maybe even emotional in a way. Nagisa looked up at the security cameras surrounding the airport, all seemingly in order, except for the switched tapes, which would show the same images, over and over again, completely blind to the events about to happen. He scanned the place, then his bright yellow watch - 11:59. They had an hour. 

Nagisa pulled a neon green daifuku from his pocket and texted the station. He chuckled into his sweet, already able to see the furious expression in Officer Jaws’ face when he got the message and walked out of the building, picking up a flower on the way he thought Makoto might like. 

They’d see just how fast those cops could evacuate a building. 

 xxx

 Rin was going mad. 

The alarm going off echoed through the walls and he was absolutely fuming as Sousuke unlocked the car and Rei worked his ass off back at the station to try to track down the fucking text. A joke.

They were treating them like a fucking joke.

It had been over a year now trying to pinpoint the who's and where’s when it came to this mobster group, to no avail. Seijuro himself was beginning to lose patience and sometimes it seemed like he was doubting just how good his team really was. Rin couldn’t blame him. He constantly wondered what kind of fucking officers they were that they couldn’t even catch _one_ of the sickos that’d been playing them like toys for over a year. To think they’d gone from stealing to making threats of _terrorism_ … The text still poked at the back of his mind and Rin was so mad, he was so fucking mad—

“You need to cool off before we get there. It won’t do anything to be angry while pulling civilians out.” Sousuke tells him, with the usual mask of serenity Rin really cannot afford to see right now. 

“How the fuck do you expect me to cool off? They’re threatening to bomb a fucking airport! Do you know how many people are there?!”

“Which is why you need to be in your right senses when you’re helping them out. You’re gonna be angrier if you fuck this up ‘cause you’re getting heated.”

Rin stared at his partner, flushed all the way to his hairline. It’s not like he could argue - Sousuke was way better at thinking logically in situations like these than Rin was. Despite being bigger, everywhere Rin was instinctive and physical, Sousuke was analytical and rational. It pissed the shit out of him, but that’s what made them good counterparts. 

_Oshima’s going boom in 60! If you got a plane to catch, I’d hurry up. ;)_

He balled his fist. It took them less than 15 minutes to get to where they wanted with their speed and the sirens moving everything out of the way, but Rin was restless - everything he could think about was the amount of innocent people inside that place and how surrounded they were by things timed to kill them.

Sousuke grabbed his radio, letting the other patrols know they’d gotten there, as quickly as he kicked the door open. Rin all but flew out, ready to barge in and start pulling people out as fast as he could but his partner raised one hand to stop him and Rin, despite his overemotional nature, knew when to listen. 

 “We can’t do anything that’ll make them panic. Walk up and tell the employees to put out an evacuation alarm. If they ask, tell them we’re checking for bombs. Don’t tell them there’s anything here.”

 Rin nodded profusely - in all truth, all he wanted to do was get everyone out _now_ but he’d seen enough of people panicking to know it wouldn’t do them, or the situation, any good. He began to do just as he was told, when Sousuke stopped him again.

 “Rin? Take a fucking breath and stop looking like you’ve seen the devil.”

 The redhead narrowed his eyes at that, but took the advice - running up to the nearest ticket agent and speaking as calmly as he possibly could, trying his best to give off a soothing vibe - even as her blue eyes started widening. 

 On the other side of Tokyo, Haru stared up at the ceiling. 

 The water was lukewarm now and it’d be cold soon enough, but he didn’t have it in him to bother and move right now. He was never as calm anywhere as he was in the water - there was the nicest feeling of being somewhere familiar, like everything outside was fake and his real life was here, in this bathtub and there was no constant threat of death, no poverty. No going against his morals or whatever people liked to call it. There was just water.

 “Haru-chan.” 

 And Makoto.

 “Drop the chan.” 

 His tall, broad shouldered friend smiled down at him - in the sweet way that made Haru wonder sometimes how someone so kind could end up in a world like this. It always seemed like nothing was good enough to deserve him, like Makoto was some sort of out-worldly creature and everything was too filthy and corrupted to be worthy of him. There was very little in this universe capable of convincing Haru of otherwise. 

 Green eyes sparkling, Makoto reached out to pull him from the bath. Slightly inclined to argue, but also once again reminded that his world inside the bath _wasn’t_ his real world and the real one would have to be faced eventually, so might aswell do it now, he grabbed the strong, warm hand splayed out before him. 

 Makoto didn’t even flinch at the sight of Haru’s blue swimsuit. He only smiled that Makoto smile and offered a towel. He accepted it and titled his head upwards to look his friend in the eye, the interrogation clear in his blue orbs. 

 “Nagisa’s back.” He said and Haru took a deep breath, walking past him to grab his clothes. Nagisa was a good friend, a little too loud and hyper and not mindful enough of one’s personal space but a good friend nonetheless. They were always happy to see him. The bouncy blonde was not the reason behind the uncomfortable feeling in his chest. 

 Nagisa being back was good. But it also meant _Mrs._ was in Tokyo. 

 And Haru knew wherever there was a _Mrs_ , behind, there was a _Mr_. 

 xxx 

  _Good evening, everyone! It’s your favorite Rockhopper Penguin speaking directly from Tooooooookyoooooo!!!! Did you like the gift we gave you?_

 Rei pushed his glasses up, trying to decode, type, find, erase, anything, _anything_ , as the messages continued to come. He was so close he could almost taste it, but whoever he was up against was a worthy opponent. They had built a nearly unbreakable wall but Rei knew there was no such thing as perfection in any work by human hands and whatever barrier they’d created, someone could torn apart. Seijuro had given him this job because he, better than anyone, knew Rei was that person. 

  _It’s nice that you pulled everyone out and all. Good to see our local police doing a good job. :3_

 The reflection in his lenses shone numbers, cups and more cups of organic coffee piled up on the side of his desk. It was riddles like these that got Rei’s heart racing. To solve the unsolvable. 

All this to Rockhopper was a game, but Rei knew how to play and that - that they didn’t count on. They wouldn’t expect it.

  _We got more surprises for you. I’ll text as soon as I can, ok? There’s some really nice shops around here. A man’s gotta relax, right? Take some time off, too, officers. You’ve earned it. <3 _

 They’d never see it coming. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it begins
> 
> daifuku* = japanese dessert  
> oshima* = airport in tokyo


	2. What Does the Penguin Say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone needs a break sometimes - even mobsters.

 “Waaaaah!” He moaned, hopping on the comfortable sheets. Nagisa was exhausted. The entire ride back took far too long and he hadn’t been able to stop anywhere to eat. He was pretty sure his stomach was a few minutes away from becoming a _screamo_ vocalist, when a soft knock on the door sounded and Kyoto’s little head of chestnut hair popped out. Nagisa’s eyes went straight to the tray she was holding and his heart swelled.

“Kyoto-chaaaaan! I love you!”

“Rockhopper-san,” She bowed in return, placing the tray on a stand. He scrunched up his nose at the honorific after his codename, but said nothing of it. In all honesty, Nagisa liked the name. He figured if he was gonna be called something by the entire world and all, might aswell make it something he loves. And Nagisa loves penguins. 

And food. 

“R-rockhopper-san!” Kyoto stuttered, turning red when the shorter man wrapped his arms around her waist. She was considerably taller than the blonde, even in his 20s - granted, Kyoto was fucking huge but Nagisa was just tiny compared to everyone else, anyway - and if the maid wasn’t fully aware of his reputation, she’d go as far as to call him harmless. Of course, he was anything but - the angelic face was just a conveniently good cover for his true nature, she thought. Rockhopper’s extensive history had her on edge. Not unlike Orca-san, Rockhopper’s seemingly friendly behavior always had her wary. She often found their attitudes to be strange, to say the least, despite how nicely they treated her. Delphinadae-san, on the other hand, was never open or welcoming. He never initiated conversation and never tried to continue the ones she started out of respect. Orca-san always did the talking for him, who just sat and stared with his haunting, hypnotizing blue eyes. As eery as he was, he still confused her less than the others and for that much, she was thankful.

“You’re the best, Ky-chan! Is this caramel?” 

“See, Makoto, he’s eating. We should come back later.” 

“Haru-chan, be nice.” 

Nagisa jumped at the familiar voices, face lightning up in absolute joy. 

“HARU-CHAAAAN! MAKO-CHAN!!!!!!!!” He dropped the bun, running up to the taller males and somehow managing to wrap every part of him around every part of the both of them, causing Makoto to laugh, Haru to respond with a weak, not at all meant “ _oi_ ” and Kyoto to pretend to occupy herself with something else on the other side of the room. They were hardly careful with exposing their real names around her and she wondered if it was due to her working for the Iwatobi House for years now or just because they knew she was too scared to reveal their identity to anyone. Whatever reason, the boys were comfortable enough with her presence to drop the codes, but Kyoto was respectful enough to keep a lowered head and adverted eyes to their displays of normalcy. It was one of the reasons Haru so much as tolerated her, though she didn’t know that. 

“You’re gonna choke us to death.” 

“I MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH! It was sooooo boring in Osaka without you. How come you didn’t answer my texts?”

“We had better things to do.”

“Haru—“

“Like breathing.”

“Haru-chan! Don’t be mean.” Makoto scolded, gently and Nagisa beamed at the taller man, rubbing his cheek all over the other’s chest. He’d missed his warm, mother-like demeanor and Haru’s bitchiness, he truly had. Osaka could suck his dick, he was finally home. 

“What have you been doing, Nagisa-chan?” He heard from the green eyed giant. The question was casual, except not at all and Kyoto stopped making the bed Nagisa already had managed to make a mess of, sensing the direction the conversation might take and left the room, pausing only to bow at the trio. Of course Makoto had asked out of genuine curiosity for the boy’s recent activities, but he couldn’t do anything about the elephant in the room if not address it. Nagisa shrugged. “The usual.” Makoto eyed him warily. 

“I haven’t killed anyone, I swear!” He said immediately, waving his hands profusely. _Not that he hadn’t before_ , he thought, although didn’t add - Makoto was the furthest from a mobster he could possibly be while still being one and Nagisa knew of his aversion towards all things murder and all. It’s not like Nagisa himself didn’t feel like shit about it from time to time, he was just better at concealing it. He wouldn’t have made it very far in this business otherwise. 

“Just been getting some things for Miho, ’s all.” At the mention of her name, Haru tensed up, but the movement was far too small for Nagisa to notice, though Makoto felt it against his arm. His hand grabbed the brunette’s shoulder while he smiled at Nagisa and asked:

“What has _she_ been up to?”

Nagisa, of course, let their touching completely fly by - he was used to their displays of affection and never made much of it, so they constantly got away with their silent communication - and skipped back to his tray of food, grabbing some biscuits from a jar and pretending to think.

_You’re not allowed to disclose this information to anyone else in the team until further notice._

“I don’t know, actually. Last I saw her she was talking about selling some guns to some guy in the States. I asked her about the details but she just told me to worry about my own work.”

“Ah,” Makoto replied, clearly relieved. Nagisa’s shoulders felt the tiniest bit heavier - he hated lying to his friends. As good a liar he was, he tried to keep it separated from his life within Iwatobi - those were, after all, the only people he had, but he knew better than to blatantly disobey Miho’s orders. Especially since she was never the one really ordering them around, but more like voicing someone else’s commands. And they all knew who that was so he’d deal with the whole feeling of guilt later. 

“Yeah. Hey! We should go out. We haven’t gone out in like, forever.”

“We’ll pass.” Haru said, beginning to leave. Makoto grabbed his collar, smiling sweetly. 

“We’d love to, Nagisa! But don’t you have any work for us? Doesn’t Miho have anything?”

“Nah, she said we all need a well deserved break or something. And I didn't get to do shit at Osaka, anyway. So what you say? Up for some shopping?” 

Makoto chuckled. Haru eyed the pink scarf by the stand and wondered briefly if he could choke himself with it. 

 xxx

 “I can’t sleep.”

Sousuke sighed. Clearly he wouldn’t be able to now, either. 

“Sousuke.”

The black haired man closed his eyes tighter. _Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll go away._

Rin grabbed a pillow off the floor and hit him with it.

“What the f—Rin, fucking sleep!”

“ _I can’t!_ ”

“Well, _try_!”

“I have! It doesn’t work, I’m too worried.”

“Close your fucking eyes and count sheep then.”

“You know that’s bullshit and it doesn’t really work, right?”

“Then talk to the sheep or something, holy shit, Rin, I’ve worked all day, let me get some fucking rest.”

Sousuke turned, back to Rin and placed the blanket over his head, in an attempt to block the redhead out. That, of course, only lasted about 20 more seconds, since he could practically fucking hear Rin’s pout from his spot on the bed and it was gonna give him a headache if he didn’t fix it. 

“Okay. Okay, what’s eating you?” 

Rin sighed. He didn’t even know where to start. The entire week had been filled with stress for him - and everyone else at the station, it seemed. The atmosphere there was charged, Seijuro was starting to get on everyone’s nerves and Rin was pretty sure he’d heard Rei Ryuugazaki talk to himself. It was fucking crazy in there and now he couldn’t even sleep. 

“I don’t know, Sou. This whole fucking… Mob thing is just.”

Sousuke was quiet. 

“What if we don’t find them, Sou? We got to the airport in time, but what if there’s another one of these and we _don’t_ get there in time? You heard what Rockhopper said.”

“I’m not gonna lose sleep over anything a dude who calls himself after a penguin says.”

“Sou…”

“No, Rin, listen. This is our job. Shit like this happens. It happens everywhere, too, not just here. And these guys won’t get away with it. They never do. Whatever they’re doing, it can only work for so long, alright? We’ll catch them.”

He took the words in, looking up like he could see Sousuke, despite only being able to watch the bottom of the top bed instead. 

“Hope you’re right, Sou.”

“Tch. When did I ever lie to you?” 

Rin smiled, letting his eyes fall closed. Sousuke just had a way to make Rin feel like he was sure of everything in the world. 

  _His knee was bleeding. Rin was surprised he hadn’t already passed out, because this was a lot more blood than he was used to seeing in real life. Biting into his lower lip, he fought back tears - a useless action, obviously, judging by the wetness on his cheeks and his trembling body. Sousuke came back running after what had seemed to Rin like an hour - when really it was hardly a minute -, holding bandages and a bottle of something he was too dizzy to be able to make out._

_“Mom isn’t home but I got some of her first aid stuff. Just close your eyes, okay?”_

_“No, Sou—“_

_“Rin, it’s okay—“_

_“It’s gonna hurt!”_

_Rin was crying harder now and Sousuke made a face, putting down the kit to slap his hands on both sides of Rin’s face. Red eyes met his and he tried to pull the most adult expression he could muster._

_“Rin. When did I ever lie to you?”_

_Sniffing, his redheaded friend seemed to look for an answer in the back of his mind. Unable to come up with anything, he muttered quietly:_

_“Never.”_

_“Right. So trust me, okay? It’ll hurt a little but then it’s not going to anymore and we can go back and play videogames.”_

_Rin nodded, shutting his eyes as tightly as possible when Sousuke started to work, tiny pink tongue out in concentration._

_It really did sting in the first few seconds - but then it didn’t anymore and they went back inside to play video games._

 “Rin? Are you asleep?”

He was met with the faint sound of snoring. Sousuke narrowed his eyes.

“Motherfucker.”

 xxx 

 Rei had dark circles under his eyes. His whole appearance was a mess - he’d been working too hard on tracking Rockhopper down to bother to tidy up and the last thing he wanted right now was to go out and expose himself to the world. The only thing Rei valued more than beauty was his work, so when Sera tried to suggest they go out, his immediate response was a loud, very done and very clear “no”. His friend had frowned at that and insisted he needs to go out more and he can’t “surround himself with his work so much he forgets to live” but Rei was determined and Sera’s request had ended up being shot down enough times he eventually gave up. Unfortunately, Seijuro seemed to share the sentiment and told him he would have to go home for the day.

“Your brain won’t work if you overwork it.” He’d said and Rei just thought it was plain stupid, but kept it to himself since, as stupid as it had sounded, it still came from his boss.

Now, Rei was at home, office all dark except for the bright light radiating off his laptop. Just because Seijuro had told him he couldn’t work at the station, didn’t mean he couldn’t work at home—

The beep on his phone pulled him out of his trance. Rei frowned, unlocking it. The number on display wasn’t one he recognized. 

_im watching you_

Rei paused. Clearly it was some sort of prank. He certainly didn’t have time for that. He put the phone down and went back to his work.

Beep.

_blue looks nice on u but ud look nicer in the shower_

Rei jumped to his feet at that, looking around the room. He lived alone - his doors were locked and he was pretty sure there was no way anyone could have entered the house.

_Could it be…_

_im at the door pretty boy_

He seized his options. Rei’s hands were shaking, sweat beginning to form as he realized just how serious this could be. Working for police officers, he should have expected some sort of response from criminals, but it’d never occurred to him… 

But then again, this was a good chance. He could catch whoever it was. If this was truly Rockhopper, Rei could figure out a way to warn the others. Yes, he’d be taken hostage, but at least they’d know the face of one member, which would eventually lead to the others.

Rei would risk himself. For the greater good. 

Swallowing and trembling from head to toe, he wrote to Seijuro. If this was his last moment of freedom, he’d make it count. 

 _Rockhopper is at my door_ , the text said. He knew they’d know where to find him. Rei slipped his phone into his back pocket, hoping they’d be able to track it when the time came. 

Slowly, he turned the doorknob. 

Nothing. 

Rei scanned the hall, confused. Had it all, indeed, been a prank? As relieved as part of him felt, Rei couldn’t help but feel stupid at imagining—

“Got ya!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” 

His phone fell, his head hit the wall and Sera chocked on his own spit from laughing too hard as Rei tried to stop himself from dying of a heart attack.

“WHAT THE HELL?”

“Oh my God, Rei—“

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME, YOU FOOL—“

“I came to—“ Sera paused, unable to talk through the laughter. Rei was sure this was the closest he’d ever get to hating someone. “I came to pull you out of your dungeon. Holy shit. That was funny.”

“It wasn’t funny! I thought you were a terrorist!” 

“God, you would. You’re such a drama queen, Rei.” Sera laughed, wiping at his eyes. 

“How did you even know what I was wearing?!”

“I just assumed you hadn’t changed since I’ve seen ya. Lucky guess, which reminds me: Yikes, Rei, you need a shower.”

“Get out.”

“Nope. Not getting out. Unless you’re coming with, of course.”

“I told you I have—“

“Have to work, yes, we have heard this record multiple times. I don’t care. You look like you’re dead and you haven’t showered in three days. It’s not unlike you to get too much into your work but it is unlike you to neglect personal hygiene. I’m doing this for the good of Earth, Rei. You’re disgusting.”

Rei, at that, looked down at himself. Sera was right - he did smell. Perhaps he had been a little too much in his own world. 

Sighing, he said, “Fine. I’ll shower.” 

“Wear something nice, too. We’re going shopping.”

“Why do you need to go shopping? You went the other day.”

“Because I’m an attractive 25 year old male and women go to these places.”

Rei scowled, “Obnoxious.”

“You’d say that. You’re gay as hell.”

Sera’s laughing fit came back at Rei’s panicked expression. 

  _rei????? where are you? i’m sending the patrol to your house right now!_

_I’m sorry sir, it was a false alarm_

_false alarm?_

_rei?_

_what the fuck?_

 xxx

 The best thing about leaving the mansion in the first place was Makoto. 

“ _Oh my God, look at that tall guy, he’s crazy hot—_ “ 

The worst thing about leaving the mansion in the first place was also Makoto.

Haru ignored the ogling and chatter from yet another group of girls, focusing solely on Makoto’s warmth and the white noise he considered Nagisa’s animated talking. He got ice cream, Makoto got new pants—

_“Oh my God, Mako-chan! It looks hot! Buy it!”_

_“Ah, I don’t think so, Nagisa-chan…”_

_“EH? WHY NOT?”_

_“I already have a lot of pairs at home. I don’t need new pants.”_

_“But Haru-chan likes it. Right, Haru-chan?”_

_The brunette stared Makoto up and down, causing the tall man to blush bright red. He considered the way his form looked in the skinny jeans and nodded._

_“They look good on Makoto.” He said and Makoto went even redder, if possible._

_“I… I guess just this time then.”_

— and Nagisa got about thirty bags of stuff Haru hadn't bothered seeing him try out. 

“What are you getting, Haru-chan?”

“Nothing.”

“EEEEEH! But you didn’t buy anything, Haru-chan!”

“I did.” He said, lifting his ice cream cone. “I bought ice cream.”

“Mako-chan bought you ice cream.”

“Same thing.”

“Haru-chaaaan!”

“It’s okay, Haru. We can look at some things if you’d like. Just the other day you said you needed another swimsuit.” 

Haru weighed his options, then sighed. Makoto bit back a smirk at his friend’s expression. He knew him too well.

“A swimsuit, then.”

It turned out to be three. Makoto sat through all Haru’s try outs in the same colored legskins, looking happier than ever to be there, while Nagisa had given up the fifth time Haru walked out wearing something he was pretty damn sure he had just changed _out of_. Standing up from his seat with a “ _I’m gonna go explore while you pick a suit, Haru-chan!_ ”, the blonde left to skip around the mall for something that would pique his interest. 

And piqued it was. 

Nagisa’s ticket to a fun day came in the form of a tall, dark and handsome piece of the art that it is human anatomy, it seemed. The man was considerably bigger than him - as were many, but he digressed - with a head full of gorgeously messy blue hair and the nicest, sexiest matching colored eyes behind the red lenses of his glasses. He looked like a fucking nerd. A hot, muscled fucking nerd. Nagisa loved it. 

He was gonna eat him up.

Thankful for the backup phone he’d brought for situations like these (it's not like he could just use his Iwatobi one under casual circumstances) and inspired with sudden mischief, Nagisa planned. He watched for the man’s movements, for the man’s friend and discovered, as the latter attempted to flirt with a petite girl across the Café, that they weren’t a couple. Good. 

Nagisa didn’t even stop to wonder about his future bed notch’s sexuality - everyone was at least a little gay given the opportunity, was the motto he lived by. And by the way he dressed and carried himself, Nagisa was almost certain this one was more than just a _little_ on the wild side. Wetting his lips with strawberry chapstick and flipping his hair, he went in for the kill.

This guy wouldn’t even see it coming. 

 xxx

 The blonde head of hair hit his chest, taking Rei’s attention off the lady making coffee. He was trying to appear busy while Sera tried to flirt and watching the Café’s employees make cappuccinos was starting to grow tedious - so he was almost thankful for the tiny body pressed against his, even if it did cause him to slip and fall on the floor. 

“Sorry!” He started, at the same time that the boy apologized. His odd, pink orbs met his and he was flushed, clearly upset by having bumped into Rei. He felt immediate sympathy - the stranger looked infinitely embarrassed. Rei had been there enough times before to know the feeling. 

“No, I apologize, I should have looked—“

The boy bit his lip, taking the hand Rei offered to stand. His hand was tiny in comparison — everything about this person seemed delicate. 

“I’m very sorry, um…” Said stranger began, question mark hanging on his tone. 

“Oh! Rei! Rei Ryuugazaki.”

“Rei-chan!” 

Rei frowned. It was bold of this stranger, who’d just bumped into him, to behave as if they were close enough to call each other…

“I’m Nagisa!” 

… Rei-chan and _Nagisa-chan._ Appalling, to say the least. 

“Well, Nagisa-san…”

“… Just Nagisa!”

“I’m sorry for bumping into you. I hope you’re not hurt?”

Biting into his lip again - was this a habit of his? - _Nagisa_ shook his head. Pink tinted his cheeks and the way he stared up at Rei made him feel weird inside, but the feeling was gone as soon as it came when Nagisa replied:

“Nope. Are you?”

“Not at all. I’m far bigger than you are.”

Oh, _God_. Where were his manners?

“N-Not that there’s anything wrong with— I mean, many people are of short stature and that is absolutely—“

Nagisa burst out laughing. It was Rei’s turn to blush.

“Rei-chan, you’re so funny!” 

“I—“

“Yo, Rei, let’s— Oh, sorry, I didn’t know I was interrupting.” Sera said, grimacing. Rei, as if reminded he didn’t come alone, jumped at his friend’s voice.

“S-Sera, this is Nagisa-san—“

“Just Nagisa.” He said, offering his hand to the green haired male. “Nice to meet you, Sera-chan!”

Sera frowned at that, shooting Rei a questioning look, to which Rei limited himself to a head shake. He guessed Nagisa-san was just the inconvenient type. 

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Nagisa-kun, but we gotta get going. This guy here is gonna spontaneously combust or something if he doesn’t get back to work.”

“O-Oi!” 

Nagisa laughed, waving his hands. “No problem. It was nice meeting you two, aswell. Sorry for bumping into you, Rei-chan!”

“Don’t concern yourself with that.” Rei murmured, cursing his blushing at the honorific. He bowed in goodbye to Nagisa and exited the Café.

“So…” Sera started. “Kinda cute, wasn’t he?”

“Are you honestly doing that?”

Sera laughed. “Well, I mean—“

“Rei-chan!” They heard, not far behind. Rei turned at the source, surprised to see Nagisa, breathing heavily and holding up a phone that looked suspiciously like his. 

“We—“ Breath. “accidentally—“ Breath. “Switched our—“ Breath. “Phones when we fell. I only realized when you left, sorry, Rei-chan!”

“Oh.” He said, taking his phone from the smaller hand. Rei felt a feeling of gratitude for the stranger, oddly enough, when he shouldn’t really be that touched by the act. It was only right to give him back the phone after all. Touched nonetheless, he tried to hide the redness crawling up his neck to his cheeks. “T-thank you.” He said and Nagisa beamed. 

Rei thought of the sun.

“No problem, Rei-chan! See you around!”

Rei honestly found it unlikely that they’d see each other again in a place as big as Tokyo but he kept it to himself, humoring the boy a little further. He didn’t look back as he walked away, but could feel the blush creeping and Sera’s knowing smirk. 

He ignored both.

 xxx 

 “—And he was so beautiful, Mako-chan! I think I’m in love.”

Makoto smiled gently at his smaller friend, slightly concerned but willing to support the platonic crush, as long as it remained harmless. Haru, on the other hand, wasn’t amused. 

“You know you shouldn’t be associating with anyone romantically.”

Nagisa paused, pouting. 

“Don’t be a party pooper.”

“Nagisa.”

“I know, Haru-chan! Jeez. I’m not gonna like, marry him. I just wanna tap it a little bit. A lot.”

“That’s a bad decision.”

“You say that because you have Mako-chan to sleep with. I need to _find_ people in order to get laid.”

Makoto spit out his apple juice at that, flustered. “N-Nagisa!”

“Find people that won’t get killed for getting you laid, then.”

“Why do you have to be so negative?”

“Um… Let’s calm down, you two, okay?”

“I’m just stating facts. You should know better.”

“I know what I’m doing! Stop treating me like a child.” 

“Guys. Enough.”

“Fine. Do whatever you want.”

Nagisa stuck his tongue out. “I will!”

Makoto looked from one to the another, resembling a conflicted cartoon character and settled for sighing. “It’s not like it’s that simple to find one person in the middle of Tokyo, either way.” He said, trying to calm Haru, who, in response to that reminder, seemed to relax. Makoto understood. He, too, hated the idea of involving innocent people in their disfigured world. 

Nagisa bit his lip, but remained quiet. He wouldn’t tell them he was definitely gonna see Rei again, because then they’d ask questions and he’d end up having to explain how the tracker Iwatobi made their members wear was now stuck to the inside of Rei’s iPhone. 

 _Yeah_ , he thought, putting on another smile and grabbing both Makoto and Haru’s hands to drag them into yet another store. _Better to stay quiet_. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me about angsty gay anime swimmers at tooruyuki.tumblr.com


	3. Smile! You're being filmed!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A movie is made and in an uneventful night, two people find each other.

Aiichiro Nitori woke up to the throbbing pain of a bruise on his forehead and his arms and legs bound by rope. Wherever he was, it smelled like rotten fish and gun powder, but the scent was all he had to rely on - everything else was darkness.

Panicking, the boy started to thrash around in place, his apparently blinded eyes filling up with tears. 

“Calm down.” He heard, and stopped almost immediately. He didn’t recognize the voice, but it came from behind him. Ai’s blood went cold - he’d been beaten and kidnapped, whoever was in the room with him had to be responsible. _Are they gonna kill me?_ He thought. He didn’t want to die. His family wouldn’t even know where to find his body. He’d never even get the chance to see them again, or say goodbye, or tell them he loved them— 

His breath hitched. 

_He didn’t want to die._

“You’re not going to.”

Ai hadn’t noticed he’d spoken out loud, but the voice caught his attention once more. He tried to place it, find even the slightest clue as to who his raptor could be, but nothing came. He still didn’t recognize it, he still couldn’t make out anything even remotely close to a solid image amongst the darkness. 

“I can’t see.”

“You’re wearing a blindfold. Security measures.”

“Why am I here?” Ai was surprised at his own tone. He sounded calmer than he felt - his insides were twisted awkwardly, his throat swelled up, his lips dry. His forehead hadn’t stopped throbbing and he momentarily wondered if it was bleeding. 

“It’d be you, or someone else.” Was the response he got. Ai could almost picture the source of the voice shrugging. He frowned. That hadn’t made any sense. 

“Why—?”

A beeping noise interrupted him before he could finish phrasing the question. The voice was quiet for a few seconds - Ai could only hear the faint sound of clicking in the background. His breathing was labored, sweat soaking his palms. 

“Alright, Aiichiro-san.” 

His heart sped up - Ai felt himself on the verge of throwing up. 

The voice spoke by his ear.

“You’re gonna send a little message.”

 xxx

  _Other kids were afraid of monsters._

_They heard stories from their parents - stories of hellish creatures creeping under their beds, at night, waiting to grab onto their feet and pull them down, or to bite into their flesh if they let their limbs hang off the sides._

_Other kids were afraid of monsters but Haru knew better._

_He’d said it to Makoto one night, as they tried to get comfortable on the one old, dirty futon they’d been able to afford. Both boys were staring up at the ceiling, counting the cracks on the wood, limbs hanging off the sides of their make-believe bed, feet exposed. Makoto tilted his head to look at him, green eyes shining brighter than any lamp they could need and any lamp he’d ever want._

_“Do you believe that, Haru-chan?”_

_He pondered on the innocent question. Did he believe it? Haru’s memories of his parents were so short, so superficial and so brief, he’d erased them as soon as they left, so he didn’t recall any stories. He’d found his family in Makoto. That’s all he knew for sure and it’s all he needed to remember._

_“No monster can go up against Makoto.” He answered, honestly. That’s all that mattered in the end, he thought. Real or not, he could face monsters if Makoto was with him._

_Haru felt his petite hand compass his own, their fingers intertwined. They looked at the ceiling and counted the cracks on the wood until they fell asleep._

_That night, with Haru’s head on his shoulder and their hands joined, Makoto cried._

_The first time Haru killed a person, Makoto held him and wept. He wept for the loss of innocence, he wept for who they’d been forced to become and he wept for not being able to provide the life Haru deserved. When they’d found each other, it had seemed like the missing pieces in their life were finally starting to find their way back together - but the feeling was just that, a feeling. Even if they felt invincible, as long as they had one another, they both knew life had the means to shatter even that. But Haru didn’t seem to understand it._

_“I don’t need anything but Makoto.” He’d say. Makoto would often just smile, then bite down on his hand the same night, until he broke the skin. Haru treated him like a God-given gift, when Makoto deserved none of it. He’d promised Haru the world and given him leftovers to share with the rats. He didn’t deserve the praise. He didn’t deserve the adoration._

_He certainly didn’t deserve Haru._

_“Are you cold, Haru-chan?” He’d asked once, as they tried to shelter themselves under the trunk of a tree. Makoto himself was soaked to the bone, shivering so hard his teeth seemed like they were going to break everytime they clacked._

_Instead of replying, Haru scooted closer to lean against Makoto, almost wrapping him around his body. Makoto began to pull away - he was wet and freezing cold, he didn’t want Haru to feel it, too but as he tried to put distance between them, the boy grabbed onto his arm, holding him in place. Haru’s eyes met his: I want to stay like this._

_Makoto could never and would never deny this boy anything._

_They fell asleep together, like they always did. Makoto dreamed of a garden, a dog and a house of their own, where they’d forever play in their made up scenarios - where nothing would ever hurt Haru, or make him hungry or cold._

_He woke up in the middle of the night from the dream, being met with a head full of black hair. He bit into his arm as hard as he could and cried._

_Makoto loved Haru, that much was known._

_Makoto loved Haru and Haru loved Makoto. The implications behind it and it’s connotations weren’t something they could be bothered with. They loved each other. Period._

_Haru sometimes would snuggle closer to him, when nights got a little drafty - rest his lips on the curve of his neck and send his heart into a frenzy. He’d kiss his hands, sometimes, as if he was worshipping every digit. To Haru, Makoto’s hands were the cleanest and Makoto’s hands were the purest. It didn’t matter how much blood his own hands carried and the stories behind the scars on his palm - as long as Makoto’s hands remained gentle, Haru would be fine._

_Makoto is 16 when he stares at a sleeping Haru and swears to himself he’s going to give this boy a better life - even if it kills him._

_The opportunity comes when Miho finds them sleeping under a bridge. She’s well dressed, pretty and good with words._

_“You’ll never starve again.” She promises. They look at each other, look at her, then at each other again._

_Makoto grabs Haru’s hand and presses the doorbell to the Iwatobi House with the other._

_“You’ll never starve again”, she’d said; and they never did._

 xxx

 “—So if I can crack that, I’m in. Finding the IP from there on is easy.”

Seijuro nodded - he didn’t understand shit Rei had said but if what he had explained meant they were a step closer to finding Rockhopper, then fine by him. “Good to hear, Rei.” He said, giving the hacker a few good slaps on the shoulder. “Keep up the good work.”

“Thanks, sir.”

Seijuro just nodded, again - his eyes were droopy and the headache from the previous night hadn’t disappeared. Sure, there was progress being made, to some extent but the lack of assurance… The fact that, despite all this work, they still, essentially, knew _nothing_ , was getting on his last nerve. He’d gotten his best detectives on this case and there was yet someone to come and bring him useful news. It wasn’t possible that this group was so good they had absolutely no way to catch them. It just wasn’t possible. 

“Ugh.” He groaned, placing a hand on his forehead. He was supposed to be helping people. That’s why he took this job. Yet all he seemed to be doing was just pace around and yell at the air in hopes someone would hear and fix this batshit crazy mess he’d ended up responsible for. 

“Sir?” Suzuki said from across the room. He hadn’t even noticed Rei was no longer in there with him, such was his fatigue. Rubbing at his eyes, he peeked at the tall woman. “What is it, Koki-chan?” 

She grimaced, opening her mouth to speak when a loud scream interrupted whatever she was about to say. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

“DON’T HURT PYUNSUKE!” 

Seijuro stopped. He was pretty sure whatever mistakes he’d made in life were being paid for right now. 

“Boss! BOSS!”

“Koki-chan.”

The medic glanced at him, sympathy covering her features.

“Please get my brother in here before he breaks something.”

The muffled sound of glass shattering sounded in response - a cruel joke, like much in his life. 

“Just.”

“Yes, sir.” She said, disappearing and returning only 15 seconds later, with a flushed, overly excited ginger on her arm. Momo beamed at the sight of his older brother and in the stressed out, dim-lighted area of the station, he looked absolutely out of place. 

“NII-SAN!” He yelled, aggravating Seijuro’s headache - which, frankly, he’d been doing from the moment he deemed it a good idea to put Pyunsuke on Rin’s desk - and he winced. “Momo,” he sighed, too tired to even try to compete with his loudness. “what are you doing here?” 

“I heard you had some cool investigation going on so—“

“Who told you that?”

“—wanted to check it out, too and maybe even be a part of—“

“Momo!”

“— the whole… Sup?”

“Who told you about the investigation?” 

“Oh, I saw the whole explosion thing at the airport on the news. I saw Rin-senpai and Sousuke-senpai there so I figured you had something going on.”

Seijuro, for the tenth time that day, sighed. “Right.”

“I want to help!”

He tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling, looking for a sign. When the chipped paint of the wall offered him no response, he looked back at Momo. 

“No.”

“EH? WHY NOT?”

“Because this is a serious, confidential case, Momo and you’re not even a rookie.”

“I would be if you let me in!”

“Without proper training? I don’t think so. You’d kill someone or yourself. Our job is to prevent things like that from happening.”

“This isn’t fair.” He pouted. Seijuro rolled his eyes, gathering the papers scattered around his desk. 

“That’s life for you, little bro.” 

“But—“

“Um,” one of the newest police officers, Arata Watanabe, spoke by the door. He was holding a pot Seijuro had grown far too familiar with. “I’ve been told this is yours?”

“Pyunsuke!” Momo shrieked, grabbing the pot and holding it possessively against his chest. Seijuro scoffed. This was the man who wanted to join the police. His life was truly a bad joke. 

“Where the fuck is he? Momo!” Rin’s angry voice came from outside the office. Seijuro was honestly starting to wonder if they were just doing this to piss him off. He was the fucking boss, for fuck’s sake, did no one knock? 

“What the fuck is with all the shit you left over my desk?!”

“They’re presents for Gou-san!”

“They’re fucking bugs!”

“I know! Aren’t they awesome?”

“What is your damn issue, man?”

Arata glanced at the two and did the wise thing, turning on his heel and walking the fuck out. Seijuro stared at them for a few seconds, wondering if they’d notice if he did the same. 

“Stay away from my sister, you fucking weirdo.”

“Gou-san is free to—“

“Can you both get out of my office?” He muttered, tiredly. Momo kept talking, of course, but Rin’s head snapped up at the sound of his boss’ voice. Embarrassed to have barged in with no permission - to yell at his boss’ brother no less, Rin nodded once and exited the office, leaving Momo to ramble on to himself. 

“—and a spouse is chosen by—h-hey! Don’t just leave—“

“Momo.”

“Sup?”

“Go home.”

“But it’s much more fun here! I have nothing to do at home.”

“You’ve nothing to do here either.”

“But it’s better to do nothing here.”

He sighed. Seijuro seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. “Momo, there are people working. You’re a distraction. If you want to help the case, you can’t ruin their concentration.”

“Waaaah, but I want to help, too! And not just sit at home. Come on, nii-san, just this once—“

“I said no, Momo.”

“But—“

“No buts!” His voice came out harsher than he intended, but the entire situation was getting out of hand quickly and Seijuro frankly had not the time, nor the patience for his younger sibling’s interruptions. His head felt like it was gonna explode. Momo winced at his tone, but was finally quiet. 

“I’m sorry, Momo, but you really can’t stay right now. I never stopped you from hanging at the station, but this time, I need you out.”

Momo lowered his head, disappointed. Seijuro’s chest felt heavy at that, but it was for good. “Okay,” his young brother sighed, “but let me know if you find the bad guys, okay?”

Seijuro smiled warmly. “Will do.”

Momo at least perked up at that, smiling and nodding once. “See you later, nii-san!” He waved, skipping out of the office and eventually, out of the station.

Once the boy was gone from his line of sight, Seijuro collapsed on the chair. He wasn’t one for naps - but it’d been a long day and he was only human. 

Suzuki, walking by to get something from the vending machine, peeked at her boss - and smiled. The poor man needed some rest, she thought, shutting his door as quietly as possible and leaving to get herself some of that caffeine goodness.

 xxx

 Haru’s hand touched the end of the pool.

Surfacing from the water, he pulled off his goggles, staring up at the figure covering the blue sky - a broad shouldered, green eyed, smiling man, with his hand out. Haru grabbed that hand, allowing himself to be pulled out. The drops of water rolled down his back, dripping from his hair in a quiet harmony that only served to soothe him. Water and Makoto. Home. Or the closest to it he’d ever get. 

“Your times are getting even better, Haru-chan! You’re almost a professional!” 

Haru scoffed. Makoto exaggerated far too much on the praises - Haru could never swim professionally. Not because he wasn’t good enough, he was. But because there was no such thing in his future as being a swimmer for a living. There was no point in fueling the fantasy that they were in this life for a temporary amount of time any further. It was wishful thinking. But Makoto seemed to entertain the idea that Haru’s future had yet to be written and that when it finally was, it’d be a nice little novel with a happy ending and Haru knew better than to believe that, but also preferred to let Makoto dream than shatter his illusions with a reality check he was happier without. Let Makoto dream for the both of them. 

“Is it time to go?” The question truly was “do we have something to do and can I skip it to stay in the pool for longer”, so when Makoto replied with:

“Lunch is ready, yes.” Haru’s brow furrowed a bit. Makoto, seeing the brunette’s face, immediately went into mom stance. 

“You have to eat, Haru!” A pause. “Besides,” Suddenly, his friend’s expression was anything but motherly. Makoto smiled. “I asked the chef to make mackerel for today.”

Haru regretted how quickly he’d given in as soon as Nagisa spotted them from across the mansion’s dining room and started screaming. Haru shot Makoto an accusing look, to which he only smiled bashfully and waved up at Nagisa. He knew Haru’s annoyance was that of an older brother and it came from en equally affectionate place and Nagisa knew that just as well, which is why he promptly wrapped his slender legs around a stoic Haru’s waist, words shooting out of his mouth faster than bullets out of the guns Miho sold. 

“Haru-chaaaaaan! Mako-chaaan! Where were you all morning?” The blonde whined, rubbing his cheek on Haru’s neck. No one else working in the restaurant even spared them a glance - one, because they were far too accustomed to Nagisa’s scandalous nature and two, it was unwise to stare at, let alone judge them. 

“Swimming.” He said, quietly. 

“Aaaaaah, I forgot Haru-chan is a mermaid.”

Haru did’t even argue. Instead, he looked up at Makoto. “Where’s the mackerel?”

“EEEH? All of the things to eat, Haru-chaaan! The chef is making crepes, there’s strawberry, chocola—“

“I want mackerel.”

“Haru-chan! You always eat that! Open thy self to the possibilities,” Nagisa waved a finger in front of his face. “do something different for a change.”

“Why would I change something that’s good?” He grumbled, swaying from side to side. Nagisa was a lot heavier than he looked - he only _seemed_ to be unaffected by the inhuman amounts of food he ingested. The smaller man rolled his eyes at that and resorted to someone more open minded. “Mako-chan, you’ll try something new, right?”

Makoto - to no one’s surprise, Haru noted, bitterly, as if he were witnessing some huge injustice - smiled at Nagisa and kindly said: “Of course.” The blonde squealed in delight then, untangling himself from him to jump at Makoto instead. As sympathetic as Haru felt towards his friend, he couldn’t help but feel a little relieved - Makoto was pretty much built to carry people and was more than happy to do so. They walked up to the counter to look over the menus - Makoto smiley and engaged in conversation and Nagisa’s suggestions of what he should order, as if there wasn’t a person glued to his chest. 

“I’d try out the rice pudding, foam cake, petit gateau, red velvet cupcake, but ask the chef to put some icing on top of that, sata andagi, sweet bean paste, hanabiramochi, monaka, profiterole, vanilla, strawberry, chocolate and caramel éclairs, taiyaki, better than sex cake—“

“Better than sex cake?” Makoto inquired. Was that an actual thing? 

“Yes! It’s german chocolate cake mix, with can sweetened condescend milk, toffee pieces, whipped cream and caramel or buttterscotch topping. We also have—“

“Um…” Makoto’s brows were furrowed. Nagisa wasn’t even holding a menu - he was just spurring out different foods - Makoto wasn’t sure if he was just naming some of his favorites or if he had the entire menu memorized. He wasn’t sure which one scared him more, either. “Nagisa, these are all desserts.”

“Yeah!”

“Nagisa, we’re having lunch.”

“So?”

“You can’t have all of that for lunch! Nagisa, you’ll develop diabetes!” Haru scoffed. He was pretty sure that ship had sailed long ago. 

“Mako-chaaan, it’s fine!”

“No, Nagisa.” There was the mom tone. Nagisa pouted. “Order an actual meal.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Tsuda, the tiny little waiter, lifted up his pen and looked at them in expectance. He looked like a punk-rock, violet eyed version of Nagisa, honestly - with his messy undercut blonde hair, loose tie and pierced ears. 

“Tsuda-chan!”

“Rockhopper-san, good evening. What are you three gonna order today?” 

Makoto curled his lip in concentration. “Um… I’ll order the salmon quiche and a glass of strawberry kiwi.” 

“I want the shrimp with saffron cream sauce, spaghetti and meatballs and a bowl of gyudon. Oh and the chocolate malt milkshake.” 

Haru was silent until Tsuda looked his way, waiting. 

“Mackerel.”

The waiter scribbled down on his pad and paused. “To drink?”

Haru contemplated. “Water.”

On his side, Nagisa let out an exaggerated sigh and Makoto chuckled. He was still halfway through finishing his fish when Nagisa was done sucking in the bowl of gyudon. 

“Nagisa, you’ll choke.”

“Don’ wowy so muh, Maho-han.” He replied, mouth full of beef. Makoto sighed and grabbed a nearby napkin, wiping at the side of his friend’s mouth. “Ah,” Nagisa swallowed, “thanks, Mako-chan!”

“Eat slower—“

“You forget you’re talking to Nagisa.” Said a voice by Makoto’s ear.

“WAAAAAH!”

The man laughed, patting his back as he coughed. Haru looked up. 

“Natsuya-chan! We thought you were dead!” Nagisa squealed - overreacting, obviously - he’d been gone for awhile, true, but everyone knew what he was out doing. Alright, maybe not the specifics, but they knew he was out for work related reasons, whatever that entailed. Natsuya scratched the back of his neck, smiling apologetically. 

“Sorry, sorry, Nagi-chan. When work calls,” He glanced over at Haru and smiled, shrugging as if the black haired boy could relate. Natsuya Kirishima was one of the older Iwatobi Family members and he specialized in getting information - mostly without the use of violence, if it could be avoided. Looking at him now, tall, a wild mess of chestnut hair and eyes that looked almost pink under the light, all matched up with a dorky smile, Haru could tell exactly why he was as good at his job as he was. Natsuya, much like Nagisa and Makoto, looked absolutely inoffensive - like he couldn’t and would never, given the chance, hurt a fly. They knew better, of course. He was one of the best for a reason.

“How long have you been here?!” Nagisa asked, barely able to contain himself. He was getting to see everyone and it hadn’t even been two days! Coming back was turning out to be even better than he expected. The Iwatobi Family was far too big for him to expect to see everyone together anytime soon - frankly, that was unlikely, considering many were splattered around the globe - but Nagisa couldn’t help but hope. With his real family so far, the closest he had to a home in others were his closest friends inside their House. It was easy to become lonely in a life like theirs so really, one could almost say he was lucky. 

“I just got here about an hour ago. I felt like getting some fresh air and I saw you guys coming in so I thought I’d stop by to say hey.” 

“What brings you back, Natsuya-kun?” Makoto asked, when the taller boy leaned down to give him a one armed, friendly hug. 

“Miho called me back.” He said, grabbing a chair from one of the empty tables. “Says I have some stuff to do in Tokyo. Not quite sure what, though. She didn’t really specify. You guys know anything about it?”

Makoto shook his head. Nagisa busied himself with whatever was left of his milkshake and Haru spoke first, surprising the others. “She hasn’t told us anything.”

“Eh?” Natsuya frowned, only pausing to tell Tsuda, who’d come over to take their order, to bring him large fries and a soda. Once the waiter was gone, he tilted his head back to Haru. “That’s unusual. She usually gives as much detail as possible.” 

“It might not be her orders.” Makoto suggested quietly and Natsuya hummed. 

“Maybe. It’s much more like _Mr._ to neglect to tell us things. Well,” He smiled and shot a wink at Makoto, who laughed. “I like a new job here and there to shake things up.” 

Haru’s eyes scanned an oddly quiet Nagisa, who kept trying to suck out of the straw the milkshake he’d already finished. His blue eyes narrowed. 

“Anyway, all she told me was she had a job for me. Oh and that Ikuya’s coming.”

Nagisa looked up at that. “Ikuya-chan? Wasn’t he in Europe?”

“Yep. But he’s coming back in a few days, apparently. Miho probably has some work for him.”

They were all quiet in response to that - Ikuya being called in could only mean whatever work they had was a big one. He specialized in all the “dark spots” Iwatobi needed to cover from time to time and he’d been out of Tokyo for quite awhile. For him to come back now… And Miho to act so secretive, there was no way nothing was going on. Haru conveyed that thought to Makoto, who nodded almost imperceptibly and turned to Natsuya. 

“Has Ikuya told you anything about it?”

“Mhm? Not really. I didn’t ask. If it’s not my business, I’d rather not try to get too into it. Especially if it’s Ikuya,” He said, making a face. “his work is better off kept to himself.”

Haru looked over to Nagisa, again. The boy seemed to notice his gaze, looking back for only a second before offering a radiant smile. “Haru-chan, if you like what you see, I can get you some pictures!” He winked and the table - except for Haru, who just settled for fake annoyance - all laughed. Makoto, though participating actively in the conversation and looking as if he’d forgotten all about Miho’s strange behavior, gave Haru one look.

“We’ll talk about it later.” It said. Haru bit into his last piece of fish and stared out the window. 

 xxx

 “ _Ah, Rin…_ ” 

“Shut up, you idiot. Someone’s gonna hear.”

Gou stopped, her hand frozen on the doorknob. 

“Fuck, that’s good. Do that again.”

“Here?”

“Shit, Rin.”

The redhead put pressure on his partner’s shoulders again, trying to dissolve the knots. Sousuke was tense as hell, which made the entire thing harder, but Rin thought it was good practice and it’d do Sousuke no good to go out to fight crime and all with his muscles tensed up like rocks. He dug his thumbs into the skin, leaving faint marks all over the other man’s back and Sousuke let out another moan. Rin, despite knowing there was nothing remotely sexual about the entire thing, couldn’t help but blush, slapping his head once. 

“Ow! What the fuck?”

“Be quiet, you idiot. You sound like a damn pornstar.” 

“Look who’s talking.”

“W-What?!”

“I’ve heard more than a few of your showers, Rin.”

“I-Idiot!” He stuttered, slapping Sousuke harder now but only getting a loud laugh in return. “Why were you listening to them to in the first place, you fucking pervert?”

“It’s kind of hard not to, Rin, really.” 

Rin turned even redder. He didn’t even want to think of all the things he’d said in those hazier moments - all the things Sousuke probably heard. Shit, he thought. He really hoped he hadn’t heard his own name in the midst of…

“W-What did you hear?”

“Mhm?”

Another slap. “Ow, Rin, cut that out!”

“I said what did you hear, idiot?”

“Just your thirsty ass moaning. Don’t worry, I didn’t hear you scream out Seijuro’s name or anything.”

Rin grimaced. “What the fuck? That’s disgusting.”

“What? He’s hot.”

“He—“ Rin opened his mouth to ask just what he meant by that when a flustered Gou barged in, breathing heavily. She looked over to Rin, then at Sousuke, then back at Rin and repeated the motion times enough that they both found themselves getting dizzy.

“Wh… Gou, what are you doing here?” 

“I came in to get some of my stuff I left from last time I slept over. I… Was I interrupting anything?” There was a weird twinkle in her eye and Rin noticed, due to his and Sousuke’s compromising position, what she was implying - and what she was hoping to hear by the way she was clutching her phone as if trying to refrain herself from snapping a shot and immortalizing all this action forever. Rin felt like he was gonna die. 

“No! Shit, Gou, it’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Rin.” Sousuke spoke, from underneath him, all droopy eyes and rough voice. Rin cursed himself for not having locked the door. “Why insist in denying our love?”

“SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT!”

“Ah,” Gou giggled. She kept her thoughts to herself, but briefly wondered how long it’d take the two to figure out what everyone else already knew. Patience, she guessed. The best things took time. “I just came to get my things. Have you seen my blue bag anywhere?”

“Oh, yeah, I put it next to Toothy.” Toothy, the gift Gou had given him on his birthday, was a plush shark he’d gotten used to sleeping with until he moved in with Sousuke. His constant mocking was the reason he’d become independent of Toothy in the first place. Now, Toothy was more of a decoration for their apartment than anything else, although sometimes, when Sousuke had longer shifts and Rin ended up by himself, he’d grab it for protection. 

“So, Gou, what’s good with you?” Sousuke asked when he was sitting up and adjusting his shirt. 

“Not much. I’ve been pretty busy with the swim team, mostly but they’ve been doing way better.” 

Rin smiled, proudly. He’d seen Gou go from an amateur manager to the shining star she was slowly becoming and he couldn’t have asked for something better. Although he’d always assured her there was nothing wrong with the profession he’d chosen - _you should swim_ , she’d tell him constantly, _you should swim and not be out there risking your life_ -, Rin always harbored the internal fear that she’d try and follow after his footsteps, go and become a cop herself. Him putting himself on the line was one thing, having his little sister do the same everyday was a whole different story. So when she stuck to the dream of forming her own professional swim team, he couldn’t be happier. Not that he was surprised at her success, either way. The Matsuoka family was just that good at everything they put their minds to. 

“As expected of you, Gou.” 

She blushed at Sousuke’s words, smiling shyly. The bashfulness was soon replaced by something else, quieter, but there nonetheless, when she asked him back: “How’s everything with you two?” 

Rin flinched a little - he could hear the hidden tone and feel, more than see, her concern. Sousuke shrugged. “Working our asses off. The usual. Haven’t died yet, as you can see.”

Rin shot him a look but Sousuke looked relaxed and, hearing Gou laugh, Rin felt the weight on his shoulders shift a little. Perhaps it really was better to make light of it than try so hard to avoid it like Rin always did. His reluctance to talk about it always made it look like there was something he wasn’t telling and it did nothing to soothe her worries. Gou felt a little better at Sousuke’s calm ways. They were fine now, at least. She’d hold onto that for a little longer. Still… “Nothing new back at the station?”

“Just the usual. Seijuro PMSing and Momo spreading his weird bugs everywhere.” Rin rolled his eyes at the mention of his boss’ younger sibling. He’d no idea how they were even related in the first place. It’s like everything that’d gone right with Seijuro, had gone terribly wrong with Momo. And to top it all, he was trying to fuck _Rin’s_ sister, of all people. He must have been a shit person in his past life to deserve such bullshit. 

Gou chuckled. She’d had the opportunity to introduce herself once only to both Mikoshiba brothers, but Momo had certainly left an impression. If it was the one he’d wanted to leave, however, that she couldn’t quite confirm. But he was funny, weird as he was - she’d give him that. Certainly he’d given her more to base herself on than his older, serious brother. Maybe it was a tough day at work, but Seijuro had barely given her the time of the day. Gou had honestly felt a little offended. 

“I’m sorry it’s been so uneventful.” She told them, despite feeling absolutely the opposite. The slower things were at work for them, the better. The more they were likely to come back home to her. After all, these two were the reason behind her moving into a closer building. Gou was almost a paranoid mother sometimes - opening the blinds at four in the morning to check if they’d gotten home. It’d become a ritual of sorts to her, at this point. She couldn’t sleep without it. 

Rin settled for being quiet and fussing with the remote control. Sousuke was a better liar by far - or maybe just better at dodging questions than he was and Rin knew if he opened his mouth now to say anything about the recent events at the station, Gou would see right through him and that’s when she’d really worry, which was the last thing he wanted. He put on some random show on TV and pretended to be interested. 

“Eh, it’s fine. Not what I was going for when I joined the police but I guess it’s better than nothing. By the way, Momo’s still obsessed with you.”

“Ah!” She laughed, embarrassed. “He’s like this to everyone—“

“I doubt he’d be allowed in the station if he was, Gou…”

“Sousuke-kun!”

They laughed - Rin watched with the smallest of smiles, when his attention was caught by an unusual vibration coming from under the covers. Fishing for the source, Rin pulled out his phone. 

_BOSS_

“Oh, shit. Sou.” He called. 

 _come to the station asap_ , it said. Rin flung the phone to his friend, who caught it in the air. Sousuke looked at the screen for a second, then at Rin, then at Gou. 

Rin’s smile was gone. 

 xxx 

 Rei Ryuugazaki had an older sibling. 

Due to life and the often distant directions it took, they barely talked. Rei had little contact with his parents and immersing himself in his work was what he felt most comfortable doing. He had no time for relationships and his friendship with Sera was the closest bond he’d formed in the past years and the biggest reason it worked was due to Sera’s understanding of Rei’s necessity to - for lack of a better word - isolate himself from time to time. Sera was patient and just the right amount of distant. He was there when Rei needed - although he wasn’t ever willing to admit it when he did - and gone when that’s what Rei required. It worked. 

Few people understood Rei, though. He’d go as far as to saying no one did. Even Sera had difficulty comprehending him, for Rei’s mind was something of it’s own uniqueness and it was hardly a place people would feel comfortable attempting to explore. He never related to anyone. No one related to him. There was his work, though and that, that was something he felt he was right for. Somewhere he fit. With numbers, life made sense. Placing his thoughts together for a specific goal, he could do that. He could block out everything else and focus on that moment. His work gave his life a meaning. 

Perhaps that’s why was becoming so obsessed with Rockhopper. 

Not to mistake his interest for lack of empathy, of course - Rei wanted to catch this guy just as much as the next person, but… The peculiarity, the intricate way this man worked, sparked something inside him he hadn’t felt come to life in a long, long time. He was making Rei _work_ , giving him a real puzzle to solve - no case had ever come to him that he felt he couldn’t see right through but he couldn’t see through Rockhopper and that was a first. 

He knew he was pushing himself a bit too hard, losing sleep over the failed attempts, reading and re-reading the texts, but Rei couldn’t help it. He felt so alive, adrenaline pumping through his veins every time the answers got a little closer. Rockhopper was taking over his brain but Rei knew, he _knew_ , he was right for this. He’d figure it out and when he did… The satisfaction would be immeasurable. 

Rockhopper inspired Rei and Rei inspired Nagisa. 

The blonde was lying on his back, tiny smile playing at the sides of his mouth at the vivid memories of a flushed, stuttering, _hot as hell_ nerd he was lucky enough to have encountered in one if his hangouts. Just his type. Just the right fit. Just the right amount of wrong… 

Nagisa giggled, grabbing a pillow to cover his heated face. He could see on the screen of his pink laptop that the red dot indicating Rei wasn’t moving. He also knew by the details given by the tracker, that his little sweet thing was at home and Nagisa let his mind wander. What was he doing? What was he thinking? What did Rei wear to sleep, if he wore anything at all? What was he into, his turn ons, his turn offs, how would he be like in bed—

“Aaaah!” He squealed in delight, rolling around on the sheets and slapping his hands to his own burning cheeks. All he wanted to do was just knock on this man’s door and absolutely ravage him, but that would have to wait. What Nagisa did, he did it perfectly. He’d court the shit out of Rei, slowly, gently and _then_ he’d ruin him. He was a cat chasing a rat, almost. The entire fun was in imagining how it would taste when he caught it. Not unlike many of Nagisa’s fascinations,  when he stopped to think about it. He’d have to make it gradual, but most importantly, casual. When he met Rei again, it’d be a pretty little setup, like fate brought them together or something. Rei looked like a closeted romantic, anyway, Nagisa was sure he’d appreciate it. He was restless, jumping at every new movement from the tiny, blinking red dot but Nagisa did know how to be patient when the situation called for it. He’d deal. He was certain it’d be worth it. 

Rei’s dot still wasn’t moving, though and Nagisa sighed, looking over at his neon green coffee table - he’d gotten Kyoto to bring in some color as soon as possible and although most of the room was still too boring for his tastes, the table did brighten up things a little - to the phone Miho had given him. Untraceable. The small, deadly little source of fun he’d been given for the last days. Nagisa nibbled on his lower lip, considering and considering… Then grabbing the phone and typing in.

A bit of fun couldn't hurt, right?

Rei’s phone blinked once, twice - the screens at the station were filled and the alarm set off. Seijuro jumped off his chair, heart racing. Rockhopper was talking. And Rei wasn’t even there. 

_rei_

_rockhopper is sending a message, we need you to trace it_

_on it sir_

_any progress?_

_it’s not a trackable source but_

_but?_

_rei?_

_sir i think i figured out a way to respond_

Rei’s hands were shaking. It wasn’t huge - it wasn’t even close to the best news they could get, but if Rei could keep Rockhopper talking, Rei could give himself enough time to…

_goodnight everyone! i’m bored and i missed you! how’s everyone doing? :3_

The seconds went by. Rei hovered a thumb over his keyboard once, twice… He swallowed. 

Nagisa’s phone beeped and he jumped out of his socks. 

_Hello, Rockhopper._

His eyes widened, mouth hanging open. He was pretty sure he could hear the X-Files theme in the back of his mind. Nagisa read the message once more and his shocked expression slowly was replaced by a borderline maniacal smile. Finally, he thought.

Finally these cops were doing _something._  

_night cutie <3 how’d you manage to reply? not that I don’t appreciate making new friends but this is a pretty safe device I’m using here. kind of surprised _

_You’re not the only one who can work with codes._

He laughed. Whoever this person was, he was definitely making Nagisa’s night a little more interesting. 

_and what should I call the other talented person who can?_

The response this time took longer than a few seconds. Nagisa was now fully awake, sitting up and biting into his lower lip, excitement building in his stomach.

He smiled when the text came. 

_You can call me Apatura Iris._

He almost screamed, jumping up and down. Nagisa didn’t even need to google what the code was - he’d read enough books on animals. Purple Emperor. Classy. So he wanted to play then. Nagisa was more than happy to oblige. 

_nice to meet you, iris. i think we’re gonna have a lot of fun together :)_

Rei stared at his screen in shock. He would have never expected something so reckless from his own self. This was the man he’d been awake for days trying to find. This was Rockhopper and Rei was _talking_ to him. 

He swiped at the sweat on his eyebrow, removing his glasses to clean the lenses. Reckless. Dangerous, there was nothing about this even remotely wise. 

Nagisa was so busy waiting anxiously for the text he didn’t even see the red dot moving. 

Beep. He perked up. 

Rei stared up at the ceiling and wondered what the fuck he was doing. 

 _Yes,_ the text read. _I reckon we will._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to my bff michelle for putting her fist in her mouth on skype and talking so i could accurately write nagisa's mumbling w his mouth full you're the real mvp


	4. Stop, Drop and Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One man realizes there's things worth remembering. Another man remembers what he'd like to forget.

The station was silent. One would have been able to hear a pin drop if it wasn’t for the screaming coming from the ongoing video. Tied, and clearly beaten up, a grey haired boy struggled to try and escape as a masked man pressed what seemed like heated iron to his skin. 

Seijuro had seen a lot, but he never got used to torture. 

The man, with his face still hidden, leaned down to whisper something in the boy’s ear. He was still weeping - even with the distance of the camera and the low quality of the video, Seijuro could tell he was trembling. His chest felt heavy. Behind him, some of the newest police officers were forced to look away - Arata had run off after the first minute, throwing up before he could even reach the door and Seijuro himself was having trouble keeping in the food he’d ingested earlier. 

Slowly, the hostage began to speak up. His voice was quiet and shaky and whoever was holding him prisoner rewarded that with a loud slap across the cheek. It was hard to hear, but Seijuro could make out the “speak up”, though unfortunately not well enough to try and put a face to the voice. Sobbing once, loudly, the boy - who, Seijuro thought, heavy hearted, seemed like he was barely even 18 - tried again.

“I-If—“ He started, throat hoarse, face so pale Seijuro wondered how it was even possible he was still conscious. “If y-you’re s-s-so good… A-at your job… And s-so earn-earnest… T-Then i-it s-shouldn’t b-b-be s-so hard—“ A hiccup. The man had his hand on the boy’s throat now. “—s-s-so h-hard to c-catch a g-group of… C-criminals.” He paused and took a shaky, deep breath, blue eyes staring directly into the camera. “R-Right?” 

With that, the screen went dark. 

When Seijuro thought this night couldn’t get worse, the alarm went off. 

xxx

Miho hated mob parties. 

She hated the pretense and the tension in the air almost as much as she hated being watched by the men in the room as if she were a fresh piece of meat amongst a pack of starving wolves. She knew the real reason none of them dared touch her and it disgusted her more than anything else. To think she was thought of as a mere adorn on a powerful man’s arm - there was far more to her than the skin tight, red dress and golden heels showed. Far more than she was planning on giving away tonight, anyway. 

Bored, Miho scanned the saloon, tapping one perfectly manicured finger against a champagne glass. She was growing tired of following blind orders - it was ridiculous to be treated as a mere member of Iwatobi when she, too, was one of the heads behind it. Of all the things Mr. had ever done to insult her pride, this was by far the most offensive. She pursed her lips in irritation and took a sip of her drink. A large clock on the wall showed in black cursive font: 12:44. He was late. 

Miho was cold, tired and Natsuya was late. Honestly, those boys were getting lazy. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing alone in a place like this?” A silky voice said from behind her, on cue. Miho looked at Natsuya, unaffected. “You’re late.”

The man chuckled, rubbing at his neck. “Sorry, sorry. My driver wouldn’t pick up so I had to take a cab. You’d be surprised how bad transportation has gotten in Tokyo.” 

“I’m sure. Where’s Ikuya?”

“How am I supposed to know? You didn’t tell him to share anything with me.”

“Must have slipped my mind.”

Natsuya smiled. “I find that hard to believe.”

She rolled her eyes. Miho grabbed another glass from the table and gestured towards Natsuya so he’d follow her. Together, they both walked through the crowd and away from the saloon, to the large garden outside. Once she was sure enough there weren’t any curious eyes nearby, Miho turned to face him.

“You know why I called you here.”

“I can assume, yeah.” 

“Mr. has been acting very…” She struggled to find a good word. “Picky, I guess you could say, with this particular job. Few people in the Iwatobi House know much about it.”

Natsuya frowned. “What is it, Miho?” 

She let out a long sigh. “That’s where the problem lies.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I, myself, know very little about it.”

Natsuya paused, wondering if he’d heard it wrong. “What?”

She ran her wine colored nails over the surface of a wet leaf, hanging from a decorated bush. “I’ve been receiving fractions of information, just enough to put out orders. I know not the why’s and how’s behind it. I just do as I’m told.” Miho couldn’t help the bitter edge to her last words. She wasn’t used to being in the dark - it felt like being a helpless child all over again, asking her parents for a reason why they’d told her no and getting “because we said so” as an answer. 

“Are you saying we’re acting without… Knowing why?” 

She pursed her lips. “It’s one way to put it, yes.” 

He let out a low whistle, running one hand through his hair. It was certainly not the first time Mr. acted… Peculiar, but it was definitely a first to keep things from Miho. He could see how frustrated the woman was, though she tried to conceal it and Natsuya could sympathize. Everyone in Iwatobi harbored a borderline fearful respect for Mr and Mrs. was no exception to the rule, as sad as that was. No one ever spoke of their marriage before - everyone knew better, but Natsuya wondered sometimes, though he’d never admit, how Miho handled such a life. Their history wasn’t known so perhaps Mr. had been different, once upon a time, charming or kind and that’s how he’d seduced her and eventually, married her. There were a million possibilities as to why they’d gotten together in the first place, he just didn’t know many reasons why she would have _stayed_ , aside from perhaps fear of leaving a man in his position. Sure, she was intimidating, confident, sharp - everything a mob leader needed to be but Miho was also infinitely kind. She’d pulled people out of miserable lives and given them a home, a purpose. The world they lived in was twisted, their actions were more often than not, of questionable morals, but Natsuya honestly believed the people she’d rescued were better off in a mansion, under severe protection, where they had a warm bed and expensive meals, than out in the streets to try their luck. For that and a million others reasons, he deeply respected Miho, which is why, despite his nagging desire to question Mr.’s orders, he settled for nodding. 

“What does he want me to do?”

“You’re working with Ikuya.” She saw him still from the corner of her eye and smiled. “Don’t worry, it’s not dirty work. You used to be partners in the beginning.” 

“Like ten years ago, yeah.” He grimaced. It was weird thinking he’d had acted almost as a coach to Ikuya, considering how different their duties would later become. As siblings, they’d began in Iwatobi together, hardly ever separated, much like Makoto and Haru. Eventually, however, Ikuya started showing signs of talents Natsuya himself didn’t have and though younger, became an exceptional member of Iwatobi and the best in the field he was placed in. Natsuya hated it, obviously, but there was hardly anything he could do about the entire thing, so he just tried his best to stay out of his little brother’s matters and turn a blind eye to what he knew was happening. 

He couldn’t do that if he was _there_ , though. 

“Don’t look so scared. You won’t have to kill anyone.” She saw his raised eyebrow and corrected herself, “Unless it comes down to that, but I doubt it. It’s basic work.”

“Why would he want us doing basic work? That’s new.”

“Who knows? All I know is he wants the best working this case. And you and your brother happen to qualify for that.”

“You flatter me.”

She breathed out a low laugh, pulling out a cigarette from a small purse. Natsuya watched as she wrapped luscious lips around the end of the cylinder and the way her entire face relaxed when she inhaled, keeping the smoke around her lungs for an endlessly long time. With her expression soft like that, Miho looked infinitely younger and he remembered just how beautiful she was, even in her 40s. It was easy to age quicker with the amount of things they were forced to see. If she had found a different path in life, Natsuya had no doubts she’d be scouted as a model. 

“You’re staring.”

“You’re beautiful.”

An eye roll. “I’m old enough to be your mother, Kirishima. Watch it.” 

He smiled from ear to ear. “Just makes it kinkier.”

Miho slapped the back of his head and he laughed out loud, rubbing the spot. 

“So, what’s the job? Does Iku know about it already?”

“I’ve told him the basic details. I want you two together so I can tell you the specifics, but basically, you’ll be getting some information on three police officers.”

“That’s pretty easy.”

“I’m aware. I told you it’s standard work. Sorry to disappoint you.”

“It’s fine. Sure it’s no accessing government documents and all, but doesn’t mean it can’t be fun, too.” 

“That’s the spirit. These are the names you need to look into. You can discuss with Ikuya how you’ll go about it. I don’t care how you do it as long as it’s done.” She handed him a folded piece of paper and Natsuya analyzed the written names briefly. 

“Rin _Matsuoka_?”

“Yes. He joined fairly recently. I’m not too worried about him, but…”

“He’s Toraichi’s kid.” Natsuya muttered in understanding. Toraichi Matsuoka had been one of the greatest detectives before he passed and Natsuya remembered just how much trouble he’d given Iwatobi. If Rin was anything like his father, they’d have a lot to worry about. 

“Rei Ryuugazaki?”

“Hacker. Worked in the Samezuka case. He’s the one who caught Takuya Uozumi.”

Natsuya’s eyebrows flew upwards. “Yikes.”

“I know. They’ve been recruiting some talented people.”

He could see that. “Sousuke… Yamazaki?”

“Joined in with Matsuoka. We have nothing on him, but he’s been on the records a lot for the past year. It could be nothing but we want you to look into it either way.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He re-folded the sheet and placed it in his pocket, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and pointing at her cigarette. “You wanna share that?”

“You shouldn’t smoke.”

“Well, that sounds awfully hypocritical.”

Miho let out a trail of smoke and smiled. “You’re still a kid, Kirishima. Try making it to 30 before you start killing yourself.”

“You talk as if you’re an old lady.”

“Perhaps not.” She looked up at the full moon in wonder. Her face now looked older - her brown orbs filled with wiseness he had yet to understand. “But I’m too old to die young, now.” 

xxx

Rin was exhausted. His throat burnt - the amount of times he’d thrown up in the past hour was enough to get Sousuke wondering if he should take him to a hospital, but looking around the station, he could tell the others weren’t much better. With an arm around his waist, he walked them back to the apartment. Rin hadn’t even argued - the video had been enough to drive almost everyone down to their lowest point and there was hardly anything they could do while being so nauseous. Sousuke had been assigned the first patrolling for the night, along with Akihiro Aoi, Daisuke Goro and Hideki Isao, which were pretty much the only officers there who looked like they could still work after the traumatizing episode. Sousuke wasn’t exactly eager to leave his friend alone in a state like this - Rin was an exceptionally emotional person and frankly, the video was enough to give anyone a hard time sleeping - but as someone who could take blows that hard, he couldn’t just ask to be given a break to babysit him. The grey haired kid was likely still out there and Sousuke doubted he, himself, would be able to rest until he was sure the boy was home safely. 

“Rin.” He probed. The redhead only moaned against his shoulder, still trembling. “Rin.” 

“Mhm?”

“We’re home. How are you feeling?” 

Rin only shook his head against his shoulder and Sousuke sighed. He opened the apartment door and searched blindly for the light switch with his free arm. Once the place was lit enough, he walked Rin to the nearest couch, upon which the cop promptly collapsed, using an arm to cover his eyes as he breathed heavily. Sousuke frowned, concerned. “I’m gonna get you some water.”

He got no response. The images continued to flash repeatedly in the back of Rin’s mind and if it wasn’t for the fact that he’d pretty much puked out all the food he had in his system, he was pretty sure he’d still be leaning over the toilet right now. He barely had enough force to move. His chest felt unbelievably tight and Rin couldn’t help but think he hadn’t signed up for this, when, really, he should have seen it coming. He was hardly a veteran in the station - most of what he’d dealt with and seen was basic stuff. Robberies, kidnappings, he’d even been in some murder scenes but everytime that had happened, the details were given to him orally. He’d never felt any of it on such a personal level, as he had tonight. He’d never been forced to _watch_ it. To see someone be put through such pain and be unable to act on it, unable to stop him… 

“Rin.”

He opened his eyes. They were unfocused and blurry and it took him a second to notice he’d been crying. Rin immediately wiped at his cheeks, accepting the glass of water and looking away as he sipped. It’s not like Sousuke hadn’t seen him cry before - again, Rin had always been the emotional one - but he felt wrong doing it right now, as if it was a disrespect to the boy, as if he was incompetent as a police officer, incapable of even handling seeing it, let alone stopping it. Sousuke was just as new to the job as Rin and yet he was proving himself to be way better. It was pathetic. 

“You think you’ll be okay without me?” The taller boy asked and the question would have usually been answered with an eye roll and a dismissive wave, but tonight, for whatever reason, it pissed Rin off infinitely. He snapped his head back to look at Sousuke, hand tightening around the glass. 

“I’m not a fucking baby, Sousuke.”

Dark eyebrows shot up. “I know that.”

“Then why do you fucking bother asking? I’m an adult. I can fucking handle being by myself for the night, I’m not a little bitch.” 

“Rin—“

“And why the fuck would I need you, anyway? Or do you think you’re so fucking good at everything that I can’t make it without you?”

“Ri—“

“Well, let me tell you something, Yamazaki!” He was shouting now, he knew, but at the moment, he honestly didn’t have it in him to give two shits who heard it. Let the whole building hear, even. All Tokyo. “I don’t fucking need you! I never fucking needed you in the first place! I did just fine without you for all those fucking years when you were gone and I can handle it fine without you now! I don’t need you or anyone and I’m gonna prove that by being a better cop than you and a better cop than dad ever was and I won’t fucking die doing it—“ His words were interrupted by a sob. He didn’t even see the tears coming but suddenly they were there, coming down like waterfalls. Sousuke stared. Rin buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. 

Up until now, having joined the police was almost like a distant dream. Like he hadn’t felt what it’s like being a _real_ cop until now and the realization that perhaps he wasn’t cut out to deal with it in the first place hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt weak, he felt vulnerable and the longer he replayed the video in his head, the more personal it became. Rin wanted to be just like his father. But his father would never have allowed this to happen in the first place.

And Rin couldn't even watch it.

He felt wide hands on his arms and began pushing against Sousuke’s chest as hard as he could in this state. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

Ignoring him completely, Sousuke pulled a crying Rin against his chest. The redhead continued to struggle - he pushed and punched and kicked until the sobbing started to take too much out of him and became all he could do. Rin buried his face on the brunette’s neck, the hands that once pushed moving towards his back and pulling him closer, fingers digging into the fabric of his navy blue jacket. His body shook like he was having a seizure but Sousuke held him through it, their embrace so tight he was sure it would leave bruises later. 

“Why can’t I do anything?” He whispered and Sousuke was quiet. He let Rin release all the bottled up anger and sadness until he felt him relax in his arms. Only then, when Rin’s shaking had toned down and he no longer soaked his uniform, did he pull away the slightest bit. 

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop.” He said.

“Wha—“

“I know you think he wouldn’t be proud of you.” Rin stilled. “Stop that.”

“What are you s—“

“Your father was a great man. I know you wanna be like him. But don’t.”

Rin frowned. The sadness in his chest began being replaced by anger. “Who the fuck do you think you are—“

“You can’t expect to be just like someone else, Rin. You’re your own person. I doubt he wanted you to grow up to be a clone of his to begin with.” Rin balled his fist. He put all the force he could into pushing Sousuke away, only growing angrier when the man didn’t even bulge a bit. “How fucking dare you talk about my dad like you know? How fucking dare you?”

“I might not know him, Rin, but I know you.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re trying to get on his level. But you’re forgetting no one starts big, Rin, they get big. That takes time.” 

“Fuck you, Sousuke. What would you know about that?” He stood up, grabbing the brunette by the collar and growling in his face. “You’re one of the top cops and you haven’t even been in this fucking station for a goddamn year. What the fuck would you know about time?” 

“You need to stop comparing yourself to everyone, Rin.” 

He gritted his teeth. He was pretty sure Sousuke was deliberately _trying_ to get punched. “Stop fucking analyzing me.” 

“Stop acting like a child.”

“FUCK YOU!”

“There it is.”

Rin lost it then - Sousuke looked so calm, so… So _mature_ and far too much like his dad and Rin couldn’t handle it. He pulled his arm back and pushed his fist towards the other’s chin with the hand that wasn’t holding him. Rin’s punch hung in the air when Sousuke’s hand curled around it, stopping it midway through and he choked, furious. _You can’t even let me have that._

“I’m not doing this with you right now, Rin. Cool off.”

“Let go of my hand.”

“If you promise not to try to break my neck, I will.”

“I’m not promising shit.”

“Then I’m not letting go.”

 _Fucking._ He tried pulling his hand out of the iron grip, with no success. Grunting, Rin yelled out: “Fine! Let me go!”

“Promise.”

“Eat a dick, Sousuke.”

“I don’t think that would bring pleasure to anyone involved, Rin.”

Great. Now he was making fun of him.

“Let. Me. Go.”

“You know the magic words for that.”

Rin stopped. His face was just as red as his hair when he said through gritted teeth. “I promise.”

“Promise what?”

“I promise I won’t try to fucking hit you, now LET ME GO, SOUSUKE!”

The hand around his was gone instantly then and Sousuke had a smug look on his face that Rin wanted nothing more than to wipe out. With his foot. 

“You’re an imbecile.”

“Learned it from the best.”

“Fu—“

“I have to leave. You’re dismissed for tonight but I’m patrolling. I’ll ask again, will you be fine by yourself?”

“Goddammit, Yamazaki, stop treating me like a bitch. I’m fine.”

Sousuke shot him a pointed look and Rin rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. Just get the fuck out already.” His friend’s demeanor had soothed most of his anger, which frustrated Rin even more. Every damn time - he was never able to remain mad at Sousuke for long. It was absolutely unfair. 

Sousuke sighed. “If you need anything, just call.”

“And what, you’ll run out in the middle of duty to rescue me like the fucking prince you are? Fuck off.”

The brunette let out a brief chuckle. He figured Rin would be fine - but just in case…

“I’m not a better cop, by the way.”

Rin looked up, eyes narrowing. “What?”

“You said I’m a better cop. I’m not. I just work hard.” He raised one hand when Rin opened his mouth to ask _are you implying I don’t work hard?_ and glanced his way. “We both do. But you’re more sensitive. That’s not a bad thing. You sympathize. You put your heart into it and you put yourself in someone else’s shoes. That’s why you’re a good cop. But that’s also your weakness.” He breathed in, then let the air out. “Mine is I don’t. I’m not sensitive enough. You’re too sensitive. I guess the reason we work as partners is we balance it out.”

Rin stared up at him, surprised. Sousuke wasn’t really one to get all deep. His friend looked up at the ceiling, eyes unfocused as if he was looking into a distant memory. “But you’re the only reason I became an officer, anyway, so I guess whatever success we have, I owe it to you.” Rin’s cheeks grew warm when he saw Sousuke’s softened gaze. “I doubt I’d be this good without you.” 

Maroon eyes widened. Sousuke grabbed his keys from the coffee table and looked his way one last time, while walking to the door. “Oi.”

He smiled. “Close your mouth before something gets in.”

Rin grabbed a pillow and flung it his way, but Sousuke was already outside, so it hit the door instead. He stuck his head against the couch and cursed himself for blushing. 

“ _Idiot Sousuke._ ”

xxx

Makoto remembered a time when they weren’t able to afford a meal. He used to dig around the trash for something edible, sick from the smell, crushed when he found nothing. Makoto remembered a time when he’d managed to get them fresh bread and he smiled so hard it hurt, running towards Haru and looking like they’d won the lottery. He’d tried feeding the whole thing to Haru then but the brunette wouldn’t bulge and they ended up sharing it. Now, it seemed like such a distant memory, almost like some sort of dream he’d once had, long ago, as they bit into their gourmet dinner. It was easy to forget the weight of such small blessings when one got used to living like they did but Makoto and Haru never did - ever. They knew struggle like the palm of their hands and took in carefully everything they had. 

Nights like these were nice. 

Makoto watched, with the ghost of a smile hanging at the corner of his mouth, as Haru chewed his mackerel. Whereas Nagisa, for instance, thought it ridiculous that with the amount of money they had, Haru always opted for the same food, over and over again, Makoto thought it endearing. They never flaunted their wealth and they’d grown up so used to having nothing, that neither of them had much problem having little. Haru’s lack of interest on spending only served as a reminder that, despite so much having changed, they remained the same. It was comforting. 

“Makoto’s thinking of the past.” Came the soft, stoic voice and Makoto jumped a little, then laughed. Of course. “Just reminiscing.”

Haru frowned, though it was subtle. “Why would you wanna do that?”

“It’s not all bad memories, Haru-chan.”

Haru considered that, pressing his fork to the remains of fish and looking up to meet Makoto’s

eyes. “Tell me a good one.” The question was said softly, innocent in it’s curiosity and he smiled. 

“Haru-chan’s first time on the beach.” 

At that, the blue eyed boy stopped. The frown now was obvious. “That’s not a good memory.”

“You had fun—“

“You drowned.”

Makoto grimaced, rubbing at his neck and attempted to smile. Perhaps it was a bad one to bring up. “Almost.”

“Because I pulled you out. Makoto almost died.” Just saying it got Haru’s stomach turning. Makoto realized just how big of a bad idea it had been to mention it, especially during dinner. “But the days before that were fun, Haru.” 

“That’s not important.”

Makoto’s gaze softened. “But it is.” And it was. He remembered, more than anything else, Haru’s smiling face as he let himself be washed by salt water. It had been one of the few moments when he’d been allowed to just be a child and Makoto would always treasure it. Everything that happened after, as bad as it was, couldn’t erase the moments that came before it. “You were happy. It was more than enough for me.”

“Makoto’s too selfless.” He sounded frustrated and the green eyed man laughed. “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“It is, sometimes. You always worried too much about everyone else.”

“I don’t know about “everyone else”, Haru-chan. Just you.”

“Still.”

“That’s not everyone else.”

Haru rolled his eyes. “It’s everyone that matters.”

He wasn’t exactly wrong about that. “True.” 

“Tell me another good one.” His tone and bright eyes made him look a kid asking his parents for a bedtime story, which caused Makoto to chuckle again. 

“That time you jumped into that fountain at the mall.” And they were kicked out because not only were they homeless children at a marketplace, making everyone else there uncomfortable, they also ended up violating some sort of code when Haru attempted to swim in the fountain. It had been funny, though. Haru’s empty expression and his dripping wet hair as a guard yelled at them. Back then, Makoto had been too scared to laugh but nowadays, he could appreciate it. 

“I don’t understand the point in having it there if they didn’t allow swimming.”

“Haru, it wasn’t a pool!”

“Water is water.”

“Haru—“ He started but ended up laughing before completing the phrase. It was such a... _A Haru_ thing to say, he couldn't help it. Haru, too, harbored a small smile. He liked hearing him laugh.  

“You’ve done your share of things, too.” He said and Makoto choked. “M-Me?! Like what?!” 

“Like kidnapping that cat.”

“I—It was not kidnapping! His owner beat him up! I was saving his life!”

“You snuck in there in the middle of the night and took it. That qualifies as kidnapping.”

“He would have died if he’d stayed there, Haru, I had to help!”

“Still. Kidnapping.”

“I—“ There was hardly any point in arguing. Makoto sighed. “He was happier with his new owner anyway.” He remembered clearly the joyful expression on the lady’s face when she opened the door to find the kitten waiting. If he’d been able to afford him a home, Makoto would have kept him but under the conditions in which they lived back then, the cat wouldn’t have made it. They were barely able to feed themselves. 

“True. But it goes to show you worry too much about others. You found him a home when you didn’t even have one.”

“Well… We ended up finding one, either way, so it’s good, right?”

Haru rolled his eyes. 

“Haru, you… You are happy at Iwatobi, aren’t you?” He didn’t know what had inspired him to ask it now, but he guessed it’d been a long time coming. They avoided discussing what living in Iwatobi involved, mostly, because there was hardly anything glamorous and worth mentioning about their professions but… If anything, Haru was there because of him. So it was only fair he asked. 

“I’m happy with Makoto.”

“Haru! That’s not the question!”

Haru let out a low sigh. “I don’t care where I am as long as I am with Makoto.”

“I… I only ask because… Well, I’m the reason we had to start—“

“Makoto.”

“Hm?”

“Stop being hard on yourself. You’re the reason we have a home in the first place.”

Makoto frowned. “That’s not—“

“It is. If you hadn’t said yes to Miho, we’d still be living in the streets. You’re also the one who found me. So stop acting like you did something bad and finish your food.”

Makoto looked down at his plate for awhile, then back up at Haru, who was looking out the window. He smiled. _Thank you._

Haru glanced his way briefly and responded to his thoughts with a “hm”. Makoto’s smile widened. 

For a moment - for the quickest, smallest amount of time, everything froze. Haru swore he could see, at the corner of his eye, the fleeting movement of something salmon colored, pink like the petals of a sakura tree and his heart seemed to stop beating. As fast as it had shown up, though, it was gone and, looking around, Haru found confirmation that whatever he’d seen was just his imagination acting up. No one in the restaurant with them resembled the person he believed he saw, even a little. But he still frowned. The off feeling remained in his chest and Makoto had to call him a third time, to snap him out of his trance.

“—chan?” 

“Hm. I’m listening.”

“What happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Which he hoped wasn’t the case - Makoto was scared shitless of ghosts. Haru shook his head, opting not to tell him that’s pretty much what he believed had happened. Nothing, he thought - because the mere idea was impossible. It was nothing. He leaned over the table to catch with his chopsticks a piece of Makoto’s salmon and the taller man squealed. “Haru, eat your own!” 

Thankful to have dodged any further questions, he poked Makoto’s cheek, earning another high pitched sound from the male. 

xxx

_I know that you think you sound silly when you call my name._

His hand sped up on the hardened member and Nagisa let out a whiny, borderline desperate moan, which eventually grew louder when he pressed the switch that intensified the vibration of the dildo buried inside him. Colors jumped behind his eyelids and everything around him was moving beautifully - the white ceiling suddenly gaining different hues of rainbow, swirling and swirling around and Nagisa wasn’t sure whether it was the drug acting or if he just happened to be having the greatest self-loving session of his whole life. Probably the former. But holy shit. 

Heat went down and pooled around his groin, his ears filled with music no one else could hear. Nagisa’s eyes sparkled pink where the black of his dilated pupils hadn’t taken over—

_But I get it inside my head all day._

— and everything was on the edge of exploding. It was like a new universe, of his own, where everything shone and danced and jumped and if Nagisa looked down at himself, he was sure he’d see his skin turn to glitter. His lower lip was swollen from being bitten. Gradually, the stimulation lead him closer and closer and closer and closer—

_When I realize I’m just holding onto the hope that maybe…_

Blue, yellow, green, red, grip, rub, stroke, closer— 

_Your feelings just don’t show._

Nagisa’s vision went out of focus - the pigments before him mixing together and becoming one huge, fluffy cloud of a million different things. The only clear thing was the sudden appearance of a head full of spiky, navy hair and the flash of a red pair of specs. 

The world exploded color then - and finally went white. Nagisa came down slowly, breath heavy and the subtlest hint of a tear at the corner of his eye. 

_It feels like we only go backwards, baby._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's play "can you spot my django unchained reference"  
> also yes i did just spend a whole paragraph describing nagisa's high masturbational session  
> i'd like to say it's a plot point but it really isn't  
> also he was doing LSD if someone didn't catch that  
> don't do drugs, kids 
> 
> song referenced at the end: feels like we only go backwards by tame impala


End file.
